Dear Valued CustomerDear Valued Customer:It has come to our attention that you, the customer, may not understand your role in this fine retail establishment. Here is an easy-to-follow guide on the finer points of being an excellent customer:Article 1: This retail establishment has its goods arranged in a certain way, so that you, the customer, may locate items easily and see them displayed in an attractive manner. If you must pick up an item that you do not intend to take to the register and purchase, please put it back in the same location in the store. All of its' components should be facing the right direction and everything closed, buttoned, zipped, or otherwise displayed as it was when you picked it up. If you cannot handle this task, please allow a professional (i.e., the clerk) to do so for you.Article 2: Please keep in mind that the clerk does not, in fact, have the magical power to produce the item you want out of thin air. They are also incapable of changing the price of
Creation StoryModern Day Legend: Creation StoryI remember a time when I was older, larger. I was there a moment after the first spark reproduced and I'll be the one to hit the lights on the way out.Things were calm for a good long time. Nothing much expected of me, and honestly I wasn't bright enough to get bored. I had no shape, no set duties. I was just there, and that's all that was needed.The world swirled around the sun, and things began to change. Swimming things, crawling things, all in a madcap race to eat something before they got eaten. I followed them out of the sea, picking off the ones that were too adventurous—or not enough. It took a while, but things really picked up. All kinds of new motions: walking, running, flying... and still, I was just there, in the same way as air and gravity. The skin changed, too: scales, then feathers, then fur. Now that I look back on it, had I had the sentience I do now, I would have marked you for extinction. Tiny fast food meals for the lords of the
BlindedFor a being of lightYou cast such long shadows...Can't remember what your crimes wereBut I'll stick it to you anyhow.You blinded, blinded, blinded me'Til I sunk down with the parasitesThey crawled under my skinAnd told me I was wellDespite the leisions and the boilsOnly you knew I was in HellAnd you're so brightI have to squint into youAnd they tell meThat your glow isn't realBut I can feel them pull back'Cause they're blinded, blinded, blindedBlindedCan't remember what your virtues wereBut I'll praise you anyhow.
Right Between . The EyesNo worriesLike a night-lightI've got this all under controlCheap shotOn a dark nightHad you on a rollI want youTo tell meWhat you thought you'd doWhen you got hereGot you got you got...You(Hahah, bang)It's okay, it's allrightI got youRightBetweenThe eyesAnd were you surprisedI'll bet you wereBut we'll never know nowWill we?Huh, will we?Got you got you gotYou.Right. Between.The eyes.BANG.